Abstinence Education

//by Keith Warren//

Three weeks ago I began an experiment in abstinence.

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Jerk-off abstinence.

And last night I stayed over at a girl’s apartment. I was looking forward to a pleasant evening of sex, however tame I knew it would be. She doesn’t let me press my thumb into her asshole.

She lives at UCLA and I work in Beverly Hills, so no matter how unsatisfying the night might turn out, I’d at least revel in the fifteen minute mosey down Wilshire Boulevard to the office the next morning. After a quaint dinner at a local eatery, we settled in for a movie at her apartment. I’d never seen Night At The Roxbury before, and it was as terrible as I imagined. The outfits were “fun,” if nothing else.

We headed to her bedroom not one head-ticcing moment to soon. The shared room somehow boasted floorspace for two fucking queen beds. And the roomie. Who was in. Instead of out. Should’ve been at a party, but there she was. 

Crying.

Fuck me. Continue reading

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